5 years of sobriety with the wreckage of my pass still haunting me.

So i have not posted in a while. He it is already towards the end of March 2017, today i have 5 years and 1 month sober. if you have read my bog you know my story, if not hear is a bit of recap, my life from my addiction (that began way back int he 80’s) that had taken hold of me stared to spin completely out of control in 2006  with my first DUI in the process not only a DUI , a possession of marijuana, along with a possession of a controlled substance charge, see they found me walking down a county road in northern Indiana (where i lived at the time) The police stopped and asked me” why are you walking” (see i had rolled my truck 3 times over in a violent stop in a ditch and down a hill) i told the cop ” i was walking to the gas station up the road” he said ” well its about 2 miles ” let me give you a lift” no thanks, so he got out and asked me to do some field sobriety test “well I am not driving Im walking, so No” well that was enough i put me on the hood searched me found the drugs, no we have probable cause, after he puts me in the car, we did not go towards town we went back the way i came and he pulled up to where my truck was , well he says”so do you know any thing about an accident” nope and he proceeds to get out and walk down the hill. ( you could not see my truck from the road but he knew it was there) and comes back up lets me out and again Says to me ” know anything about and accident ” Nope again, Well thats funny he says that plate belongs to you??? know what?? Take me in and charge me,, i have no more to say.. So fast forward to 2007 another DUI and ya see i jumped probation and moved back to Michigan( 3 hours away) so when they take me in for this one they charge  me and tell me i have an outstanding warrant in Elkhart county Indiana,” yeah so” well its your lucky break cuz they will not go over state line to get you. so i do my probation for the second DUI in 2 years get it all straightened out My license reinstated well in Michigan, at that time Indiana and Michigan did not send suspensions to each other so my DL was only suspended in Indiana, Good to go well my drinking continued heavily through the next few years, I was up to a 5th of whiskey a day and beer to boot. so in 2009 i took a job with a construction company, and would’t yeah know it!! i signed a contract to work doing federal jobs Though out Indiana, well of coarse i still had a warrant down in the hoosier state, but hell I’m  good i will just watch my drinking and parting right.. well when your mixing whiskey and klonopin togeather it gets rough.. so that went on for a good 1 1/2 years and in November of 2010 i left a bar in a company truck took a wrong turn and went over a fence and in a ditch.. and then the cop was there and off i go again.. and this time i am 8 1/2 hours from home. I am down by Kentucky this time. So they book me and the next day i find out i have a probation hold from Elkhart county..(see they will not cross state line for misdemeanor but they will put a hold on you when you are picked up in the same state) .. this time i was 5 hors from Elkhart county.. and Lawerance county will not release me to elkhart till there bond is payed,, so my wife had to drive 8 1/2 hours one way to pay my bond in person.. what a bitch. and after she pays i sit for another 11 days then they come and get me and take my to Elkhart county. See know this jail holds 2500 inmates and over 1500 of them are on a Department of Correction hold. so its packed in here. Well my wife spends another grand for a lawyer and gets me release and we head back home to Michigan. but wait you still have a court date in front of the judge,, so we go to that and due to me skipping probation back in 2006 he gives me 1 year in jail 20 days credit suspends 6 months i do 3..and all this time i Am still on bond in Lawerance county. so i do the 3 months and have to face the judge in Lawerance county now.. they have me on a felony charge there for my 3rd DUI. so i go in front of judge i get 1 year with credit for 361 days i do 4 days in jail 8 1/2 hours away.. wife goes home and comes back again 4 days later. Again we live 8 1/2 hours north in Michigan. so probation gets transfered and brought to Shiawasssee county where i reside.. well before the probation officer even gets a hold of me to start probation i get another DUI in October 2011 so again I am on probation getting another..well this ones charge is not lite.. DUI 4 th with a resisting and obstruction charge both felonies. Im looking at 5 years .. and a family that is being torn apart by my actions. so when the probation officer finally makes it to my house she says ” i am discharging you, seems you have bigger problems.. So we are know in to February 2012 I am staying sober with one slip up since October 2011 longest since i was about 13.( except the times in jail) Well this time i got into trouble in Livingston county, (tough judges on the bench one lost a daughter to a drunk driver lucky me i did not go in front of him) The judge i went in front of was tough on the drunk driving laws he told me its his recommendation of 5 years in the Michigan Department of Corrections. Yup that is prison… after wheeling and dealing and pleading i got it down to 1 1/2-5 years had to do the full 1 1/2 before i was parole was even possible.. So on April 5 th 2012 I said good by to my 5 kids ages 17,12,10,10,10 (Yes triplets)with my wife and parents at my side we walked in the court house fully knowing that this was the day i was going away,, they would be leaving not me i was cuffed and taken out of the court room right in front of them.. and did not know when i would see them again… So i was taken to the county jail and waited for the transfer to state prison in Jackson Michigan,, and on April 20 2012 i left Livingston county shacked and lock boxed cuffs for the ride to Quarantine.. And that was the start of that long 1 1/2 years i spent 28 days there. talked to my wife mabey 3 times. we did write daily to each other, she sent me alot of books and made sure i had some money on my books to get things off the prison store.. and on the 28 th day they shipped me out to Gus Harrison Correctional Facility. so this is May of 2012 and this is where i  did my time .. family visited here and there.. but the one that remained there every weekend with our kids with her for the next 1 year 5 month was my wife… she only missed 2 weekend visits one was the weekend before my release and the other was when our oldest graduated. (Yeah i missed it)  so see i had a great women standing by me and a lot of time to think of my wrongs.. i got closer to my self and started classes in prison got my GED and a job that i was allowed to work out side the prison walls for 8 hours a day.. (it only payed me$2.55 a day ) i had structure and discipline and at any time if i messed up that privilege could be taken away.. so i did what i had to do and did right.. on October 3 2013 with my wife on the other side of that control room door, I walked out of there.. and had a 15 month parole i did that and was released from parole in January 2015.. so now today writing this i have my DL for over 5 years.. i sent in all paper work and required information and i finally got a hearing date set for April 12 2017 Know this is where i say “MY WRECKAGE IS HAUNTING ME” i have read that i will more than likely have to have a ‘go and  blow breathalyzer in my vehicle.. Now i have excepted a long time ago that all of this was my fault and i have owned up to it. I have payed out 10’s of thousands of dollars to get to this point.. and to find out it may cost more.. so after 5 years it continues. I will see in April what happens it can take up to 6-8 weeks for the review board to give an answer and they could say “NO” I am praying they give me another chance they have before and i blew it.. but one thing i have learned being sober is that “no matter what i do not want to go back to where i was, but never forget where i came from”.

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Reflecting on the past that brought me where I am today 

So here I am another year sober, on February 22 I will have 4 years of sobriety. Man time has past by. Since my release from the Michigan Department of Corrections in October 2012, I have accomplished a lot, by a lot I mean I have started my up my own construction company, ( I have been in the building trade for over 20 years) I have made purchases that I would have never been able to do prior to 2012, and I have gotten some college credits under my belt. But most of all out of all of this is, ( not the material things or the notoriety of a business owner) that for once in my life (at 40 years old) I’m at peace I have found that happy place, new friends and established stronger family bonds. I feel genuine and honest for the first time in along time. Throw a little ole program called “Celebrate Recovery” I have found I can let go of a lot of the baggage that came with my addiction. And I will continue to keep working the program and the steps, I have never forgot where I came from (“and that is important”) or where I have been in life. My life was a 129mph out of control train waiting to run of the tracks and it did not matter who got in the way. But I don’t have to do that any more. Man what a relief. To sum this up I have good friends that like to share and I have those that love to listen to me. And that helps me as much as it helps them. “Slow and Easy” one day at a time. I have over come that mountain and I can truly say it is better over here. I made it and will keep going up hill. 

Days of sobriety

Well today was the day that I close the door to a long chapter of life. A chapter of life that took my family and turned them upside down and left them all alone. A chapter that sent me threw the Michigan department of corrections, what a hell of a lesson learned in life. I am thankful and grateful for my journey thus far in life and look forward to the future. I have finish my parole and am moving forward to better opportunities in my life. And threw “SOBER EYES” and a clear head there I nothing I can not accomplish.. I have 3 years of sobriety now a prison number, and felonies, but I’m not gonna let that stop me.. Just a quick thought from myself to you all., don’t drink and drive. If is not worth it at all.. Look out world here comes the sober me. Love it

Sobriety, life lesson , hard knocks

Well here it is October 2 2014 and this very day I was walking out the door of the Michigan state prison in Adrian mi.. Man never thought I would end up there but after thinking ” hey it will not happen to me” well it did and. That was my very bottom in October of 2011 when I got my last DUI . I have done my time. I have 2 months left on parole. The time I did made me think and figure me out I am proud and humbled to say today I have almost 3 years sober and with in the last year have got my construction company up and running ( the legal way) and doing good… I love life now and being sober is the best thing that happened to me… I figure who’s gonna stope now? 😄.. Here I am sporting my new shirt.. And proud to be ” tattooed and employed ” yeah baby.. Come on life let’s see what you have In store for me in the days to come..

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Life with out alcohol

It is coming up on the year anniversary date of my release from prison. And even better my three year sobriety date. I work very hard to remain sober, I have really changed every thing in life , where I go, who I am with, and most important I am committed to staying sober and my recovery accountability partners thru my celebrate recovery program. And looking back where I was, where I came from man what a difference life is thru the eyes of a sober man. And with that it brings me to this photo I can laugh at this now and really wonder man I sure I made a fool of myself a time or two and be thankful those days are behind me thanks for all your encouraging words and thoughts..

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Well iam back and life is going great. For the past month or so my wonderful wife and i have got our construction business up and running the legal way, we are a registered LLC and insured contractor. I mean hell if ya read my blog ya know that October 2 2013 I was released from the Michigan Department of Corrections. and know it is May and i have completed a semester at the local collage, registered my business and moving forward in life. That time i spent in prison made me see that there is more to life than that bottle.

Threw the completion of consulting that was part of my parole guidelines from the state i really got something out of the meetings with the consular( i cant say there name but they know who they are) thank you for helping me see that in life there are better things available. And that i do have great friends and these are sober friends that help me threw things that i have a hard time with,A great family and the love of a great women help me remember and not take anything for granted..Well to end for now i got to say that today i am a better person,a sober person that can make it over any and all mountains. Remember “I hit my rock bottom ,But thank God my rock bottom was not death” .. So looking back would i have changed anything,? Well yes i would but hell man i have learned from the mistakes i  made and never again do ” I Want to Be on the Inside Looking Out” 

Slow And Easy …………….

Slow And Easy Threw Sobriety

Lots to do in a short time but threw the eyes of a sober man i can sit back take a break and enjoy things a bit. Take it slow and learn to enjoy things that i have missed out on. Ya know i was just released from prison 6 months ago and sober for 2 years and 2 months. What an awesome freedom i have being sober, I dont have to lie to my kids,wife or to my self. Man what a re leaf it is to be this person that i am today. I enjoy life and make time for the little things.

If only i would have seen this all so many years ago…..   

Life struggles

Sometimes life throws a curve. I mean hell sobriety in its self is a challenge to deal with, let a lone dealing with other demons. Don’t get me wrong I do not at all want a drink but all of a sudden In sobriety Iam tested and thru my faith and courage I now can over come the demons that Try to tempt me . Thank you all that follow and pray for me. That bottle is not the answer for sure. Threw this hurdle I have learned also that I can not control things and remind. My self to take it : ” slow and easy” Get back soon been a great day 😄

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