5 years of sobriety with the wreckage of my pass still haunting me.

So i have not posted in a while. He it is already towards the end of March 2017, today i have 5 years and 1 month sober. if you have read my bog you know my story, if not hear is a bit of recap, my life from my addiction (that began way back int he 80’s) that had taken hold of me stared to spin completely out of control in 2006  with my first DUI in the process not only a DUI , a possession of marijuana, along with a possession of a controlled substance charge, see they found me walking down a county road in northern Indiana (where i lived at the time) The police stopped and asked me” why are you walking” (see i had rolled my truck 3 times over in a violent stop in a ditch and down a hill) i told the cop ” i was walking to the gas station up the road” he said ” well its about 2 miles ” let me give you a lift” no thanks, so he got out and asked me to do some field sobriety test “well I am not driving Im walking, so No” well that was enough i put me on the hood searched me found the drugs, no we have probable cause, after he puts me in the car, we did not go towards town we went back the way i came and he pulled up to where my truck was , well he says”so do you know any thing about an accident” nope and he proceeds to get out and walk down the hill. ( you could not see my truck from the road but he knew it was there) and comes back up lets me out and again Says to me ” know anything about and accident ” Nope again, Well thats funny he says that plate belongs to you??? know what?? Take me in and charge me,, i have no more to say.. So fast forward to 2007 another DUI and ya see i jumped probation and moved back to Michigan( 3 hours away) so when they take me in for this one they charge  me and tell me i have an outstanding warrant in Elkhart county Indiana,” yeah so” well its your lucky break cuz they will not go over state line to get you. so i do my probation for the second DUI in 2 years get it all straightened out My license reinstated well in Michigan, at that time Indiana and Michigan did not send suspensions to each other so my DL was only suspended in Indiana, Good to go well my drinking continued heavily through the next few years, I was up to a 5th of whiskey a day and beer to boot. so in 2009 i took a job with a construction company, and would’t yeah know it!! i signed a contract to work doing federal jobs Though out Indiana, well of coarse i still had a warrant down in the hoosier state, but hell I’m  good i will just watch my drinking and parting right.. well when your mixing whiskey and klonopin togeather it gets rough.. so that went on for a good 1 1/2 years and in November of 2010 i left a bar in a company truck took a wrong turn and went over a fence and in a ditch.. and then the cop was there and off i go again.. and this time i am 8 1/2 hours from home. I am down by Kentucky this time. So they book me and the next day i find out i have a probation hold from Elkhart county..(see they will not cross state line for misdemeanor but they will put a hold on you when you are picked up in the same state) .. this time i was 5 hors from Elkhart county.. and Lawerance county will not release me to elkhart till there bond is payed,, so my wife had to drive 8 1/2 hours one way to pay my bond in person.. what a bitch. and after she pays i sit for another 11 days then they come and get me and take my to Elkhart county. See know this jail holds 2500 inmates and over 1500 of them are on a Department of Correction hold. so its packed in here. Well my wife spends another grand for a lawyer and gets me release and we head back home to Michigan. but wait you still have a court date in front of the judge,, so we go to that and due to me skipping probation back in 2006 he gives me 1 year in jail 20 days credit suspends 6 months i do 3..and all this time i Am still on bond in Lawerance county. so i do the 3 months and have to face the judge in Lawerance county now.. they have me on a felony charge there for my 3rd DUI. so i go in front of judge i get 1 year with credit for 361 days i do 4 days in jail 8 1/2 hours away.. wife goes home and comes back again 4 days later. Again we live 8 1/2 hours north in Michigan. so probation gets transfered and brought to Shiawasssee county where i reside.. well before the probation officer even gets a hold of me to start probation i get another DUI in October 2011 so again I am on probation getting another..well this ones charge is not lite.. DUI 4 th with a resisting and obstruction charge both felonies. Im looking at 5 years .. and a family that is being torn apart by my actions. so when the probation officer finally makes it to my house she says ” i am discharging you, seems you have bigger problems.. So we are know in to February 2012 I am staying sober with one slip up since October 2011 longest since i was about 13.( except the times in jail) Well this time i got into trouble in Livingston county, (tough judges on the bench one lost a daughter to a drunk driver lucky me i did not go in front of him) The judge i went in front of was tough on the drunk driving laws he told me its his recommendation of 5 years in the Michigan Department of Corrections. Yup that is prison… after wheeling and dealing and pleading i got it down to 1 1/2-5 years had to do the full 1 1/2 before i was parole was even possible.. So on April 5 th 2012 I said good by to my 5 kids ages 17,12,10,10,10 (Yes triplets)with my wife and parents at my side we walked in the court house fully knowing that this was the day i was going away,, they would be leaving not me i was cuffed and taken out of the court room right in front of them.. and did not know when i would see them again… So i was taken to the county jail and waited for the transfer to state prison in Jackson Michigan,, and on April 20 2012 i left Livingston county shacked and lock boxed cuffs for the ride to Quarantine.. And that was the start of that long 1 1/2 years i spent 28 days there. talked to my wife mabey 3 times. we did write daily to each other, she sent me alot of books and made sure i had some money on my books to get things off the prison store.. and on the 28 th day they shipped me out to Gus Harrison Correctional Facility. so this is May of 2012 and this is where i  did my time .. family visited here and there.. but the one that remained there every weekend with our kids with her for the next 1 year 5 month was my wife… she only missed 2 weekend visits one was the weekend before my release and the other was when our oldest graduated. (Yeah i missed it)  so see i had a great women standing by me and a lot of time to think of my wrongs.. i got closer to my self and started classes in prison got my GED and a job that i was allowed to work out side the prison walls for 8 hours a day.. (it only payed me$2.55 a day ) i had structure and discipline and at any time if i messed up that privilege could be taken away.. so i did what i had to do and did right.. on October 3 2013 with my wife on the other side of that control room door, I walked out of there.. and had a 15 month parole i did that and was released from parole in January 2015.. so now today writing this i have my DL for over 5 years.. i sent in all paper work and required information and i finally got a hearing date set for April 12 2017 Know this is where i say “MY WRECKAGE IS HAUNTING ME” i have read that i will more than likely have to have a ‘go and  blow breathalyzer in my vehicle.. Now i have excepted a long time ago that all of this was my fault and i have owned up to it. I have payed out 10’s of thousands of dollars to get to this point.. and to find out it may cost more.. so after 5 years it continues. I will see in April what happens it can take up to 6-8 weeks for the review board to give an answer and they could say “NO” I am praying they give me another chance they have before and i blew it.. but one thing i have learned being sober is that “no matter what i do not want to go back to where i was, but never forget where i came from”.

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5 thoughts on “5 years of sobriety with the wreckage of my pass still haunting me.

  1. Wow! That was such a crazy story! It’s so interesting the stories you hear from our drinking days. I love the quote at the end!! I’m sorry that you are still struggling with some things, but just stay strong. It’s like you always say, “Slow and Easy.”

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