life struggles Getting of my chest

As today begins for me and i start to study in this big ole house by myself i can reflect on me and the struggles i face day in a day out with out the bottle. Since being released from prison in October 2013 and being home i find my patience with my children ( that a daughter 14 and three that are 12 another daughter and two boys! yes TRIPLETS) is a struggle i have a hard time with the teen and preteen years. Through Celebrate Recovery i am learning to cope but i still need to work i this and catch my self sooner. I have two years sober now and i know the bottle will not help anything nor fix it. In fact that is gonna make everything spiral out of control and i have learned that i have to accept life on life’s terms man is this a struggle. Not only does this cause conflict with my kids it also includes my wife. Let me tell you a bit about her she is an amazing mother,wife all around person in whole she has the most patience of any one i know. She and i are high school sweethearts and after years of drinking and getting on planes and traveling all around the country for work and leaving her and our kids home with out me and out drinking every night and telling her i was not getting in more trouble with the law in different states and call her every time and she came and rescued me. Man if that isn’t love.! Well then i get in more trouble (read my blog of how i found sobriety) this time there was no buying my way out i was facing a prison term and she stood by me the whole time every weekend visiting with the kids for 18 months.  She is great and i am great full for her and we addicts do not appreciate things until we lose them and take for granted what we have. Well let me say i have it all i have a nice big house on some land (that thanks to my wife we where able to keep and not lose because of my addiction) great family and a cool dog we have the american dream and i almost pissed it away. She is the glue that holds us me together. Well i guess i will just keep on praying and working on me.This is a struggle that i have since sobriety and it hurts. They say that when we get sober we go back to where we began and that is when we stopped aging. Man does that mean i am back in teenage years? i try to work this out and hope i continue to improve. Slow and Easy keep on ……. Thanks for reading

( comments or prayers  welcome)  

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